What are you doing?

 

Are you singing?

Fighting?

Dreaming?

Sleeping?

Tell me. Go on.

Dreaming of drawing

 It's so long since I posted but this morning I'm waiting for a new laptop - one that I can draw on. I've sold several things on Ebay so that I can buy this but I'm not sure that it will be OK.

Falling Apples

Whoops - that's something I drew a long time ago - not on a computer screen. Will look for something I've drawn digitally.

Yes, that's one - Two Heads - also from a long time ago. Looks like I was having a difficult time then and I was - but a brilliant time, too. Reminds me of a saying I'm fond of -

Truth has many faces, but each one alone is a lie.

Back to the computer that's coming. It's coming by DHL - some time before the end of the day. Hmmm not very helpful. Had planned to go shopping, do some gardening, oil some wood none of which are in hearing distance of the front door bell. So I'm sitting here writing this.

It's a Windows laptop. I love chromebooks not windows machines but I need a Windows machine because you can't publish anything unless you use Word and the Windows machine I use is dying a long, slow death. At least it's long and slow. I use Wordonline on my chromebook for daily writing, but, irritatingly, it's not the full version of Word. I have to keep a Windows machine going so I can use the full version for the final edits. My old Windows machine is a Surface Pro 2 also bought for its screen and drawing capabilities. Well, its screen has been fine but its other capabilites have been more or less awful. Worst of all was its trackpad which resembles a dead mouse both in looks and feel (although thankfully not smell). By this time, it will only work tethered to the mains because the battery lived its life early on and couldn't be replaced.

I've chosen a compromise. It's an Acer Spin 3 - 14 inches! A giant for one who loves small things. The reviews are not particularly good but it does have a Wacom pen so I'm hopeful that it will work for both drawing and final Word use. Won't be much good for carrying around though at 1.7 kg unless I develop bigger muscles.

I'm working on that. When I remember, I do weights. Little weights. Occasionally.

That's it for now. Must go and hang out washing.

 

Don't want another dad!

 Lame Crow Press is offering a discounted deal on Bk 2 in the Daniela Hoffman series. Click on the link below. It's The Third Father so if you've already read it, please ignore this.

DON'T WANT ANOTHER DAD!

I thought about this and it applies to me - not the story in The Third Father - but to my life. The dad who brought me up was the one who adopted me. He was my real one. I knew there would be a biological father somewhere but I never did want another dad. When I was little, my real one cycled as fast as he could to bring me ice creams before they melted. My real one worked hard his whole life to look after me. My real one never asked for anything in return.

What is your dad like?

Daughter has a shameful secret - free download!

  

FREE DOWNLOAD FOR US

FREE DOWNLOAD FOR CANADA

FREE DOWNLOAD FOR AUSTRALIA

FREE DOWNLOAD FOR UK

 

in case you missed previous offerrs for this book.

THIS IS BOOK 1 IN THE DANIELA HOFFMAN SERIES.

WATCH OUT FOR DISCOUNTED DOWNLOADS ON BOOKS 2 AND 3 COMING VERY SOON.

What is purity? Read about Pure Dani.

You can read Pure Dani: love in another country for free on KU or just £1.99 for the ebbok, £6.99 paperback . This is book 3 in the Daniela Hoffman series set in Papua New Guinea. It's a coming of age story.

'Only the moon to see by... '

 

'Only a moon to see by....' 

I've just had the latest Daniela Hoffman novel published - Love in Another Country. I'm not happy with it. Not happy with anything I've written.

I feel like this after every book I've finished. Let down. Disappointed. Depressed. Aware of what I haven't achieved. I want to put in 'truth' but there are always too many bent bits inserted for the sake of the story. I'll try and write with more spaces next time.

I've been reading about Sheldrake's morphic resonance. I'm surprised at how close it comes to my own view of things and surprised, too, that I've missed reading about it before now since he started publishing this stuff in the 80's.

The only help seems to be to keep on keeping on - with the writing as with everything else.

photo - 000 shot-by-cerqueira-VTGTi6elV1I-unsplash.jpg

Will you come with me?

Hi there dear friends. Happy 2020! It's over a month since I posted here and I miss it, but I've started a website and I'm going to blog there instead. I'm really hoping that you will sign up for the Newsletter on my new site (it's on the right hand side of the page). Some of you have already signed up, but to those of you haven't - I will be thrilled if you do. I don't want to lose you.
angelajphillip.com

What are you doing with this new year? I trust that you're living life to the full.

GETTING FIT
Since I last posted, I've stopped eating Aero bars and have started IF (intermittent fasting). I was getting decidedly podgy with all the pre-Christmas stollen, mince pies and chocolate so I've given up these lovely foods to become a new fitter me. When I was little, my mother would have called me 'bonny'. I always worried when people started calling me bonny.

Well, I've succeeded in becoming a bit thinner, but you can't tell from the outside and I do miss the  chocolate. I had discovered Aldi chocolate with far less sugar than the Aero bars, but I don't even long for that now. The feeling of being healthier compensates for the occasional chocolate craving which comes less and less often. Can't quite believe it.

And I've started running - not outside, that's still very hard - but at least in the house on the spot. While doing it, I watch all kinds of tv and have seen things I never imagined were there. I can manage ten minutes at a time, which I think must give the endorphins time to kick in because I feel great by the time I stop.

MAKING MUSIC
We've got a gig on Sunday Feb 9th at The Stag Inn, Hastings 5 - 7 pm. We'd love to see you there if you can make it. We play an eclectic mix of folk and blues and we've invited Liz and Rob Porter as special guests. We welcome singing along in some of the choruses so there will be plenty of chance to join in. I've been practising this afternoon, jumping about and singing to the people walking past on the pavement outside. They can't hear us and they never turn and look in. We are Blue Rumour.

WRITING WRITING, WRITING
Or should that read editing, editing, editing. I suppose it should. I can't believe that it's taking me so long to get my work ready for publication. I'll be sending lots of hints and tips - and advice from experts - that I'm finding along the way. I'm going to put it in the posts on my new site and then include some of these in my Newsletters.

COME & JOIN THE NEWSLETTER
Please come to my new site and sign up for my Newsletter, then you'll see when new stuff comes out - and you can comment if you like or send me suggestions. I would love to hear from you.
https://angelajphillip.com/

Thanks so much for reading.

Angie (Angela J.)

Mothers & daughters

I've been thinking of stories about mothers and daughters.

The first one I always think of is Beloved (1987) by Toni Morrison.  This a story from the mother's point of view and the story will haunt me until the end of my days - as it haunted her. That a woman could love her child enough to kill the child. That a woman should have suffered so much that killing her child was the only way forward.

Read the short review of Beloved in Bookchat: Be fearless - write your truth

Elizabeth Strout is the next author I think of. She wrote My name is Lucy Barton  (2017). This story is told from the daughter's point of view. When Lucy, the daughter, is an adult, her mother comes to the hospital where she lies ill and as Lucy drifts in and out of consciousness, they talk. The mother won't leave her side but the daughter, Lucy, remembers her childhood as a time when she was abused. Nothing is quite clear. Lucy remembers their talks some time later. Memories are clearly different for mother and daughter and time stretches between the times of thinking about them. But painful things need time before they can be brought to mind and that's what these things feel like. A powerful story - its very ambiguity invests it with power. We return again and again to the things we cannot understand.

The most recent book I've read about a mother and her daughter is Unsheltered (2019) by Barbara Kingsolver.

This is another story where mother and daughter start to talk when the daughter is grown up. The mother is surprised, even shocked when she begins to understand things from her daughter's point of view. This mother has two children, a son and a daughter and although she has previously denied it, even to herself, she has always favoured her son. Slowly she comes to realise what an effect this has had on her daughter and slowly she starts to listen to her daughter's version of the past. From there she starts to listen to her daughter's world view that she had previously not taken seriously.

It is a story of guilt, of dawning realisation. It's an optimistic story because the mother listens and learns. Slowly, but surely.

Read my review on the new website - Blue Sky or Global Disaster - Review of Unsheltered by Barbara Kingsolver

Thank you for reading this. Please post any comments either here or on the new website - angelajphillip.com

Hope you've had a good week and that you're heading happily for the weekend.

angela j.

A new lookout post

I'm building a new website. It's so that I can publish my books in 2020. Apparently having a blogger account like this one is not enough.

The new one is called angelajphillip.com. I hope very much that you'll come and have a look. I hope that you'll sign up for my newsletter so that I can keep in touch with you.

I'm doing it with Wordpress which is fairly new to me and with a new hosting service - Hostinger. Don't usually advertise anything here, but I've been delighted with the help I've received from the customer service team there - even in the middle of the night. And their prices are super cheap.

It's Sunday night as I write this. It often seems to be Sunday night when I write a post so that I notice that another week has whizzed past. Stop the world - I don't want to get off but I'd like it to slow down so that I can get more done.

I'm like everyone else. Somehow we all think we've got no time. Where have the days gone when we used to drop in to each other's houses and drink tea (or coffee) for hours on end and talk to each other. Definitely need some of that.

OK, I'm going back to my proof-reading now. I wonder if it will ever finish. And when do you know when something is finished?

Thinking of you all and hope to hear from you.
Angie x

image thanks to unsplash.com

Plot thickening

Getting closer - to where? to what?

... possibly to running through the streets screaming till I get to the sea and jumping in. Then floating. Floating? Swimming. Swimming? In this weather?

Reminds me of the line... 'In these  shoes?'

It's too cold, too grey, too wet. All I want to do is eat chocolate.

Well, I did. I did eat chocolate. And now I'm feeling a bit fat but for a few minutes, I'm feeling glorious.

That's because I've just reached the end of my new version of Red is to remember. The plot has thickened (sounds like cream, doesn't it? or making soup or a sauce....). It's  how it ought to be. All I had to do was to listen and watch and now the story is the 'right story'. I'll still have to go through it another couple of times to proof-read but my whole being is breathing out.

My characters are on their way. They've survived book one with a mixture of angst, joy and laughter. They have loved each other and hated each other, changed their minds, experienced new things and tried to see into the future. My God, the past is hard enough to peer into. Imagine trying to see into the future.

But we all do it. We all try - either in a happy daze expecting the best, or in a froth of fear expecting the worst. And it's usually different. Not at all what we expected so we have to cope with what comes. Although with hindsight, of course....

Please send me a message and tell me what you are doing. On my stats, I see the pageviews from the USA and Ireland, from India and Japan, but I don't know who you are. And I wonder. I love talking to you and I would like to know who you are and what you're doing.

Angie xx

Thanks for the photo to Sujeeth Potla on Unsplash

PS. My happiness doesn't come only from plot thickening. My son (the one in Australia with the goat) has got a new job. He's worked really hard. He's an excellent mechanic and now he's got a super new job managing the maintenance of a fleet of specialised vehicles (with lots of training for new things). He's had several interviews for various jobs and this time, he's got it. I'm proud of him. So very proud and pleased.

Second thoughts

Nothing is that simple  - I'm thinking about yesterday's revelations. My novels fit into multiple genres. What about yours? How do you categorise your novels? What do you look for when you want a new book to read? I don't think I've ever entered a genre in the search box, have you?

The telepathy and special powers are only a small part of what happens in the stuff I write - and that's only in some of the stories. I didn't notice these elements before because they seemed normal, understandable, credible.

I've just had a look in Amazon and all the books seem to be categorised under multiple genres.

I'll have to keep thinking.

It's Monday and the day is passing. So far there has been a blood pressure monitor which arrived because I failed to cancel it (don't ask), a yearning for Aero bars that I managed to resist (and then regretted) and an argument about colons (I mean the punctuation kind, not the sort that we have in our insides) which was stupid.

I'm going to have a cup of coffee - is that all you can think of I hear you shout? Well, actually no ... but it might have to do.

Wonder what the evening will bring.....

Angie X

A bit of magic

Here's a bit of magic! It's Sunday night again - a week since I posted the goat, who has since come home, seemingly none the worse for wear although my son and the two kids (children not goats) were beside themselves and needed at least a day to recover. Obviously, the way to beat stress is - to turn into a goat.

After a week of plodding - terrible plodding that frequently slowed to a standstill - I woke up this morning with all my problems solved. When I bounced downstairs with this grand announcement, Paul could hardly believe it and paused mid muesli for the revelation.
'Which problem exactly?' he asked.
'All of them,' I said.
'Hmmm,' he said and carried on eating.

Well, it is a revelation. My problem all week has been - plotting - although in reality it was genre but I didn't know it.

All my novels are linked by magic. Well, a sort of magic anyhow - telepathy etc. Can't believe that I never realised. In every one of them, someone has special powers.

In the Dani stories, my mother and daughter are linked by telepathy - the daughter teaches the mother and it doesn't always work so there are heaps of misunderstandings.

They don't always like it, but it's there so they have to learn to live with it.

Such a pleasure to write and I never know what's going to happen in the end (although there is only one novel in that series left to finish now).

'My name is Aulanit' (previously titled 'The Sauly Bird') is about a modern day witch - she, too, has special powers.

And in 'Don't you remember me' (that isn't finished yet), the characters recognise each other from previous lives.

So now I know that I need to reclassify my novels as fantasy. They all have something to do with magic - even if feel that the magic has scientific explanations.

And now that I've realised it, admitted it, I can plough on happily and finish all of them - ready to carry on with some more.

I'm feeling high tonight - it won't last so I'll enjoy it while it does - hope that you've all got some magic that's transforming your lives. I'm thinking of you all.

Angie xx

PS Monday morning - I can't believe that I can have missed the obvious for so long - but I did. Sun is shining here - hope you have a peaceful, productive (do those two words conflict?) week. x

Thanks to  Anthony Tran on Unsplash for the photo.

Another day

Will it ever finish? I suppose what I mean is - will I ever finish proof-reading this first novel? Is it worth finishing?

I've got as far as chapter 23 (out of 31 chapters) and I've been through it so many times before.

And then I've got the other 3 Dani novels to polish and publish. Are they worth it? I used to think so. I can still remember the excitement and how much I enjoyed spending time with Dani. What's happened to me? I thought of her practically all the time, night and day, wondered if she'd like wearing jeans with holes in, thought that she would, know that she likes black nail varnish.... I know a lot about her, but not everything. She still surprises me.

My friend Jill in Australia says these stories are worth it which is nice of her, especially as she's got all sorts of hard things to cope with - I mean stuff like bush fires. Have you heard about the fires in Australia? They haven't reached Jill's house, and hopefully never will, but they are not far away. She's in Queensland.

I try to imagine what it feels like to lose your home and fail. I once had a house that burned. I only lost the top floor to the fire but it felt terrible. I lost the photos of my son when he was little and they weren't digital in those days. After the fire, the house was vandalised and I wept when I walked through it with the loss adjuster. It's a good job title 'loss adjuster' but they don't do it for you, adjust your losses. They can't. You're the only person who can do that and it takes time.

And that was just possessions - can't bear to think of how the Grenfell survivors feel.

The sun shone today - I saw it through the window and felt it briefly on my face when I went to the chocolate shop to buy an Aero bar.

'Two Aeros?' the girl behind the counter asked as I walked in.

'No, thanks,' I replied. 'He (meaning Paul) has switched to Cadbury's Dairy Milk.'
'Expect you'll be putting the kettle on,' she said (she's really nice - always comforting as though it's a good thing to do, eating all these chocolate bars).
'Yes,' I said. 'Aren't you cold?' The shop felt freezing to me and she had bare arms.
'No,' she said,' always too much to do,' and she rubbed her arms a bit and smiled her lovely smile that cheers me when I go on my guilty trips.

Better get back to it, the editing (instead of answering emails and a heap of other stuff that I ought to be doing although last night at gone midnight I cleaned the stairs, shamed into it by the heaps of dust collecting on every step). If I stop ploughing through this text, it feels as though I'll never start again.

Hope that you are all having a much more productive time than me. I probably need to go for a walk because I've lost my bounce and editing without bounce is practically impossible. It's too late tonight to go for a walk but tomorrow, as my mum always said, is another day.

Thanks to Austin Distel at Unsplash.com for the photo. I like it because I don't know what it means - looks as if an astronaut might be coming to collect the writer.