Collapsed near the finish line of the 4th draft of The Sauly Bird

Hello everybody, this is what I think Aulani looks like - I found this picture on the net - but this is how I think she might look.

Until last night I was working every minute of every hour to get to the end of my fourth draft of The Sauly Bird. Nobody is driving me to finish this. Only myself. I nearly got there last night at 2 am so I'll get back to that after I've written this update. (Have spent today writing this week's post for Hastings Online Times.)

I found that I had to rewrite two sections because my characters just wouldn't go down the route of those particular bits of storyline. I've found out that I'm a 'pantser' not a 'planner' which, apparently, is one of the two styles of writing that people fall into. A 'pantser' is someone who 'flies by the seat of their pants.' Well, I'm not sure that is an accurate description of how I write.

What I do is to create the characters, have a look at their situation which always has a problem and then follow them down the road to the end of the novel. Actually, I do plan a little bit, but the story always goes somewhere else. So yes, I do plan, but then have to abandon it. This makes me ask myself why I plan at all and the answer is that I don't know because over and over again, I do the same thing. Plan the story and abandon it.

I don't mind writing like this because it's interesting to see what happens and and I am never sure of the ending until I get there.

Last night I stopped when I couldn't see straight anymore but I still hadn't quite finished the 4th draft so that's why I say that I collapsed near the finish line. It's not a finish line at all, of course. Every finish is just a new beginning.

But I'm feeling cheerful. The next step is to send it out to beta readers especially readers from Papua New Guinea. I've got a friend who has put me in touch with some friends from the past, who I hope will read and give me feedback. And I've got one or two very good friends whose opinion I trust who will read for me here.

I can't see my novel at all because I'm too close. In fact, I'm so close that I can smell the leaves and the steamy air and I'm happy to be back in Papua New Guinea, if only in my mind.

It won't be long before I fall back into the pit of despond - I'll see a hundred failings that I know are there. But just for now, I'm happy.

Thank you for reading this. I hope that your writing is going well. I think of you and wonder who you are. And where you are. And what you are writing.

Title - got it! I think....

Yesterday morning I was walking by the sea on my way to a training session for volunteers for the Hastings Literary Festival with my head still full of my story (I took this picture on the way - it was a grey day - not like today when the sun is shining again.)

It's a tale of many halves - life versus death, blood versus blood, woman versus man, mother versus father, parent versus child, sister versus brother, past versus present.

It's also a tale of modern times and mindsets, fixed versus changing.

The title is not about focusing on the main message because there isn't one - it's about focusing on the main question.

So I look to where my story finishes and see where Aulani is looking at the end and decide that my title is The Sauly Bird.

This may change again, of course, but we'll see.

Thank you, dear friends out there - it's been a great help to talk this through with you and I feel as though that's what I've done.

I hope your own titles are landing clear and sweet.

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previous posts in this thread:
Title Nights
Title Nights Update
Title Nights - the spirits of the dead

Title Nights - the spirits of the dead

One of the things that runs through the whole story is a preoccupation with the spirits of the dead.  In particular, one man's spirit. The dead man's face is in leaves and stones and his spirit seems to appear as a bird.

Maybe I didn't include this in the original list because a) writing about the spirit was unintentional, b) it was not planned as part of the story (although it is an important part) and c) there are no answers.

I don't know.

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Title Nights
Title Nights Update
Title Nights - the spirits of the dead
next one:
Title - got it! I think...

Title Nights Update

No, I haven't got a title yet, but I got up this morning with an overwhelming urge to sort out the brainstorming list of what my novel Aulani is about but all sorts of things got in the way and now it's gone lunch time. It's funny how the mind sometimes feels as though the latest thoughts just have to be let out somewhere.

I started off trying to change yesterday's Title Nights post, but it got so messy, I'd thought I'd leave it and start a new one. 

Here is the new list of what the novel is about. I've grouped together the things that belong with each other and deleted items that are too minor to include. Was almost shocked to see that I'd not included 'rape' in the first list.

Q - identity

• a child being thrown out by her mother
• tangled family connections
• blood lines
• family bonds

Q - how do you change someone's beliefs - and should you?

• accusations of sorcery
• torture and rape
• belief systems and the fact that what you believe alters how you behave
• the difficulty of changing someone's beliefs 
• special powers
• manipulation of people's beliefs for both personal and political ends

Q - Why do people behave as they do? Fate vs freewill?

• coming to terms with killing someone
• working out who to trust
• betrayal
• payback
• the complexity of people 

Q - Are cultural differences superficial?

• comparison of places and cultures - Papua New Guinea, Australia and UK

Tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner 

This shouldn't have been be in the list at all. It's not what the novel is about, it's a wish. A hope that the readers will understand the characters and forgive them for their bad actions. A wish for them to be lovable.

Here's a link to the first post on Title Nights, and the one that comes after this one Title Nights - the spirits of the dead, and the one after that next one Title - got it! I think... - and a link to my this week's post for HOT  Be fearless - write your truth.

Title Nights

A title night is a night when I switch off the light to go to sleep then switch it on again five minutes later to write down another 'ideal' title that I've thought of. Then I have to google it to see if anyone else has thought of it, but after that, everything gets switched off again. Ten minutes later, on again. Then off again. And so on. Have you had nights like that?

I've finished the second draft of what, for the time being, is still Aulani. It needs more work, of course, but the title is driving me crazy. I remember this from the other three novels that I've written. The same thing happened and it seems that, at least for me, this is a necessary stage on the way to finishing. It forces me to identify not only what my novel is about (which by this time, I know), but more importantly, what its main focus is. And, if possible, I want a title that says more than it appears to say - just like the picture above does (or at least, I tried with it - if you look closely, there's a woman and a cooker inside the pumpkin).

My novel - in no particular order and including both major and minor items - is about the following (like the titles, I'll probably keep changing this list):

• a child being thrown out by her mother
• love and care given by strangers
• accusations of sorcery
• torture and killing
• fate and free will
• comparison of places and cultures - Papua New Guinea, Australia and UK
• growing up
• liking to look nice
• sexual attraction
• working out who to trust
• payback
• belief systems and the fact that what you believe alters how you behave and these actions have far reaching consequences
• the difficulty of changing someone's beliefs e.g. it's not possible simply by presenting a few facts
• the special powers that people sometimes have
• manipulation of people's beliefs for both personal and political ends
• tangled family connections where people don't know to whom they are related
• identity
• betrayal
• wanting to study and have work that is interesting
• wanting to understand why people behave as they do
• the complexity of people
• family bonds
• a character who feels real but whose behaviour is baffling (I understand the others but not this one)
• tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner

You might be surprised to know that I do have a synopsis and one that makes sense, but it's not the same thing as looking into the depths of the story which is easier to do with a list like the above. Ha ha. I think it is. I'm hoping.

Even more surprising is the fact that the story is finished, completely written and yet I'm still wondering what it's about. But I am and it's the seeking into what's below the surface that I am learning from. As though I've still got something to tell myself that I haven't quite seen yet.

I go up and down like a yo yo in relation to this novel. I'm briefly (and I fear it may be very brief) on an up, so I'll post this before I hurtle down into the depths once more.

I hope that your own writing is going well and send you the very warmest best wishes to speed you on your way.
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If you're interested, there's a Title Nights Update and Title Nights - the spirits of the dead and Title - got it! I think..., as well as my latest post on HOT Be fearless - write your truth (all added on Tuesday August 13th, 2019)

A bleak feeling

I've finished the first draft of Aulani but I don't feel as glad as I thought I would. My characters didn't behave as I wanted them to, didn't learn the things I thought they should have learned and one of them still baffles me.

I read an observation in The Guardian that seems to describe what has happened:

‘a commitment to truth requires that you let go of your desire to use fiction to enforce justice. ‘ 

Cat person author Kristen Roupenian on the trouble with writing about sex The Guardian, Saturday August 3, 2019

Is that what I've done? Let go of my desire to enforce justice?

I've respected the truth of my characters but the downside of this is that my novel shows a bleak world with characters who betray each other. This story is not comforting. Or uplifting.

In my previous novels I tried to do the same i.e. I've tried to respect the integrity of my characters. The characters in my Dani stories, for example, behaved without regard to my plans for them. But at least I felt that I learned something along the way. I watched them and understood them. And cared about them.

Maybe I've learned something this time, but it may be that I don't like what I've learned. This time, too, I like my characters but it seems as though there's a divide between them and me and we can't speak to each other.

Since I created the characters - or did I merely observe them? - then their truths should match mine. But their world and their actions seem alien to me so that I'm left with this bleak feeling.

Pictures for poems and galloping into the present day

This is Metamorphosis 2 and takes me back to the days when we were doing The Hidden Woman Project in Oxford. I always loved the poem Chuma wrote to go with it so I've just used it again for my 'How to write a poem' post in Hastings Online Times. It's called 'Eyes'.

What does that mean - I've 'used' it. 'Use' is a funny word. Makes me think that anything I 'use' will wear out. I can't take and take and take from it without it changing into something less. Like a dishcloth, for instance, or a broom. Or a bicycle. This digital picture should last forever but maybe it won't. The real picture will wear out. It already is doing. It's fading.

The post talks about using a picture as a stimulus for a poem. But although this picture is part of my past, it's also part of my present. A picture is not time limited like a story. Pictures just sit there and become part of any time that anyone is in when they look at them.

Stories are difficult. They are always set in some sort of time. So far, all my stories have been set in the past so I've had some idea of a backdrop even if it was only one small piece of backdrop. Time somewhere. But not the new story. The Aulani story starts in the past. Round about 2010 but soon it edges into our present time and that's when it gets hard. My character Aulani is walking out of the past to catch up with me here. She's left Papua New Guinea and is already in Melbourne.

I know she's going back to Port Moresby but I know, too, that she will go to Oxford and come to Hastings, Fact and fiction are going to get dangerously close.

Meanwhile, I'll enjoy reading the poems I put in today's post for HOT. I love 'Hang in there' by Johhn D. Robinson. It's comforting and I'm always in need of comfort. Have a look at it.
Bookchat - How to write a poem- 1

New novel set in Papua New Guinea - about the power of belief

I’m furiously writing a new novel about a young woman called Aulani who has a strange life-story. The power of belief, both hers and that of other people, plays a big part in what happens to her. It is set mainly in Papua New Guinea (where I lived and worked for 15 years, my second home) and where many people still believe in sorcery.

I’m writing it furiously because I can’t wait to get back to my Dani stories and I still have the last two novels to write in that series (the next one also set in PNG) . So why did I decide to write this one in the middle? Haven’t got a clue, it just arrived on the page i.e. on to the lappie in a google doc, possibly inspired by people’s entrenched views on Brexit that don’t seem to shift as well as by the way Cambridge Analytica has manipulated people's beliefs via their Facebook accounts.

Entrenched views and the difficulties of changing them are prevalent worldwide but what seems evil is when powerful people manipulate the views of others for their own ends. So that’s what my new novel is about – not Brexit but the way the powerful few manipulate the crowd for their own hidden agendas. There are always victims just like Aulani, but she learns how to be tough and she manages to turn her fate around.

This is an extract from my bookchat post on Hastings Online Times for Tuesday 23 July, 2019. 'You tell the stories your way - life writing as only you know how.'

What do you think of flash fiction?

Do you read flash fiction? Do you write stories of this length?

After writing a how-to do it piece in the Guardian, David Gaffney wrote a warning:
'...writing micro-fiction is for some like holidaying in a caravan – the grill may well fold out to become an extra bed, but you wouldn't sleep in a fold-out grill for the rest of your life.'

I wrote a post about flash fiction in The Hastings Online Times but I'm still wondering about it. What do you think?

for more information have a look at:
Flash fiction - kerpow! Angela J. Phillip in Hastings Online Times
Stories in your pocket: How to write flash fiction David Gaffney in the Guardian
Image from publicdomainvectors.org adapted by Paul Way-Rider

Every piece of prose should be a poem

Every piece of prose should be a poem.

I've just reread the piece I'm writing for my bookchat post in the Hastings Online Times tomorrow and I like the way it flows. It's about flash fiction. Stops and starts with satisfying rhythms. As I change it to make it better - that's what I'm trying to do. Yes, I'm putting in a new piece of information or a new idea but I'm trying to insert them in a way that makes the piece a pleasure to read/ listen to/ or to speak out loud. Even if I don't succeed (and I never do totally succeed) at least I know what I'm aiming for. And I'm enjoying writing.

No wonder Audible is doing so well - and all those stories that work when they are read out loud. Back to the beginning, I say. That's how our stories started and actually, it's how they are represented in the brain. When we read, no matter how fast, we produce an audible signal for each word. Even deaf people do that and if we haven't got an audible signal for something then we can't include it. Can't integrate or make sense of it.

And don't get me started on rhythms. If you can get your readers to synchronise with your beat then you are together. Hearts beating as one. Literally.

I want my writing to be easy to read and to sound good. I want it to be comfortable most of the time but jolty every so often. I want it to give pleasure. I want it to linger and unfold. Probably won't get there but I'll keep trying. Every piece of prose should be a poem. Even a novel. Especially a novel. What do you think? I wonder who you are and what you're thinking while you read this.

The danger is that you can get so carried away with the sound and the rhythms that you lose the meaning. Imagine a woman sitting on her doorstep wailing a song. No words. Just sounds. Words long gone so definitely a shape of something but you can't listen forever (although she might go on singing long after you've passed by).

We're back to form vs content but ideally you shouldn't be aware of either. You should be lost with me. We should be lost together.

I still think that every piece of prose should be a poem.

6 Reasons to Write and Be Cheerful

Why do you write? How would you manage without it?

Your writing will change somebody's life - yours first.

Have a look at my post in Hastings Online Times about why we write and the effects. Reasons to feel cheerful and write.

Sheer Poetry at Bookbusters on 22 June 2019

Pete Donohue hosting Sheer Poetry at Bookbusters 22.06.19

A marvellous evening with John D. Robinson, Susan Evans and Lucy Brennan-Shiel. Read my Hastings Online Times blogpost Sheer Poetry Sheer Delight.

Writing is Dangerous

Writing is dangerous - authors are being harangued and threatened from the right and having their publications withdrawn because of criticism from the left. What is the best thing to do? See my article in Hastings Online Times Bookchat blog and let me know what you think.