Another day

Will it ever finish? I suppose what I mean is - will I ever finish proof-reading this first novel?

Thoughts on a Sunday night (inc update)

My thoughts at this time of night are of my son who is in Australia. He is the sort of person who always has animals in his life (which bring complications as well as blessings). It used to be a horse but now it's a goat. I think they got the goat as a sort of lawn mower but I might be wrong. Anyhow, the goat has gone walkabout so he might be mowing somebody else's garden now....

I've spent most of today drafting Tuesday's bookchat post for Hastings Online Times. It's about marketing and even now, I don't like thinking about it (the marketing I mean, not the post).

I think it's because marketing means advertising and although it feels fine to advertise other people's books, it doesn't feel quite right to advertise your own.

Like every other writer in the world, I want to spend my time writing, not thinking about marketing but never mind. 

Photo by Edgar Chaparro on Unsplash (Sorry I haven't got a pic of Goatee in Oz, but the goat in this pic looks like a splendid old goat so he'll have to do as a stand-in.)

Red like fire or blood

Back to editing now.

Sleepless

I've made the decision so now I have to get it done - get the first novel published. 

I spent the whole of last night trying to go to sleep between titles. I'd just be dozing off when I'd think of another one. Got to write it down or I might forget it. This process repeats until it's almost morning and I'm exhausted.

top image - Pixabay at pexels.com

Overcoming fear

One, two three, go!

'I'm too old to even worry about it' - now who said that? It might have been Jimmy Reed.

I realise that I've been putting off getting my first series of novels published because I've been worried about this, nervous about that. Not sure that they are good enough. Not wanting to be judged.

The truth of it will likely be that nobody will notice my books. It's like playing a gig and you make a mess of a song. Surprisingly, people don't seem to notice, but it burns a hole inside your head so you want to disappear, wear dark glasses never to be recognised again, stay indoors for the rest of time. My fiddle teacher used to cheer me up by saying, 'Don't worry - forget about it. It happens to everybody. It won't be on the news.'

So I've made a decision to publish my first novel before Christmas. I was going to put it off until March. And once I've done the first one, I shall hopefully, follow it with the others 

Breakthrough

It came suddenly, the idea that made finishing the first Dani novel both harder and easier. More interesting. More exciting. And more meaningful.

Photo by Chris Flexen on Unsplash

Playing with sea and sky

Yesterday I had a whole day of playing around - not writing - just messing about with email and pics.

All day I played with sea and sky.

Warning signals?

I feel like this cat.

When I was about eleven, I got the chance to earn some money from potato picking. I was excited and rushed off to work the first day dreaming of the money I'd earn. By tea time, I couldn't stand up and hobbled home in a bent position. This was repeated day after day until I could eventually do it without pain, but then the boredom kicked in.

That's what my writing feels like at the moment - or rather the rewriting. I've lost count of how many times I've rewritten it all.

Are spurts of boredom warning signals? 
Photo of cat (at top of page) by Juan Gomez on Unsplash

Writing Competitions

Have you ever entered a writing competition?

I entered one some time ago and didn't win but I'm going to try again. Until I compiled a list of useful competitions for my Bookchat post in the Hastings Online Times, I had no idea that there were so many exciting ones.

Instead of copying them all out again, I'm going to give you a link to the post Why not enter a writing competition where there is a list with details and deadlines for each competition and links to more information.

I chose the pic above (not mine - see credit below) because the berries remind me of happy times when I lived in Oxford and a Japanese friend called Noriko came and took a picture of the red berries we used to pick from the prickly bush outside and put in a small grey vase (almost like a mug). I've got that pic somewhere but can't find it at the moment.

Hope that you are writing away and looking at flowers and berries every so often to keep you going. Thinking of you. Do send me a message sometime.

image thanks to Kaboompics at pexels.com

Two main characters?

After trying in various ways, I've come to the conclusion that it is not possible to have two equal main characters - or at least not for me. Dani has won. I've tried over and over again to balance the viewpoints of Dani (the daughter) and Esme (the mother) in my series of books about the two of them. Maybe it would be possible if I rewrote the stories using the 3rd person for both of them (that's how they started off) but I'm not going back to attempt again what failed the first time.

What I have tried this time is to balance the viewpoints by giving both Dani and Esme 1st person voices but it hasn't worked. All that has happened is confusion.

I'm not sure why I've decided that Dani has won and that it is she who has to have the 1st person voice, but I am sure. Maybe it's because when the two of them argue, it's Dani who wins my heart. Perhaps that's it. I'm not sure. It feels as though the two characters have fought for the special place and Dani has won. It doesn't feel as though I have made the choice. Do you know what I mean?

So now I'm back to the beginning of the first book Talking. I had completed 19 chapters of giving Esme 1st person voice but now I'm going to rewrite (one last time?!!!) to put Esme into the 3rd person.

It's all hard work, but I'm learning, hopefully I'm learning and I needed to do it because I had been gradually coming to a halt because the writing didn't feel satisfying. Now I'm enthused again (and I'll be even more enthused after I've been to the dentist tomorrow and got my teeth sorted out.... life keeps intruding on the writing and I expect it always will).

I'm now going to have a cup of green tea (that I used to drink in Papua New Guinea long before it became fashionable) while thinking of you all to send greetings.

By the way, did you know that it is NaNoWriMo month starting soon (in November)? Have a look - it's a great way to get encouragement and communicate with other writers.

How are all of you getting on with yours? Send me a message and let me know.

Running

I'm running more and writing less (by the way, that isn't me in the pic... if only...), but soon I'm hoping for an explosion of energy that converts into pure brain power. With my new fitbit lookalike (cheap version, not a real one, but still, it's good) I'm hopeful.

I've managed to change my target steps from 8,000 to 4,000. I still haven't achieved 4,000 (not quite) but I remain hopeful. You should see me getting up out of my writing chair and running on the spot. I'm beginning to feel quite athletic and tomorrow I'm going to walk to the dentist's so that should boost the number of steps (about a mile all along the sea front).

OK, enough of that. I'm getting to sound like somebody who's come to the blog via Damascus, but I can't help feeling excited. I feel so healthy and I've only had it for two days (the fitbit I mean).

With my rewrite of Talking, can you hear me? I keep hesitating and wondering if it's worth it. I'm on chapter 18. The reason I haven't got very far since the last post is not because I've been running, it's because I've been working on this week's post for Hastings Online Times (due out tomorrow at 9 am - I'll add a link here when it's live or do a separate posting).

It's on Writing Competitions - a list of them with entry criteria and deadlines. I'm hoping to enter one of them myself. What about you guys? Have you ever entered a competition? Did you win? I suppose it's very unlikely that any of us will win but you never know - somebody will be the winner.

I'd better get up and do a quick run before getting back to Talking chapter 18. I hope that your writing is going well.

image - thanks to Filip Mroz at unsplash.com

Thin, black and shiny

There's going to be a new me. I've decided.

So yesterday I ordered a fitness watch and today it arrived. It's thin, black and shiny. This is to motivate me to keep getting out of the writing chair and jumping up and down for a few minutes so that my legs don't drop off from lack of use.

When I activated it, I had to set up various things. One was my target for steps per day. The suggestion was 10,000. Hmmm I thought, I'll never manage that. I'll try 8,000. But I know very well that it's only on the occasional day that I do anything like 8,000 steps and sometimes it's as low as 1,000.

I looked up how many steps a day you need to be considered active and found that anything under 5,000 was considered sedentary. Oh dear. And I thought that I walked quite a lot and I do ... from time to time....

Decided to lower my target to 2,000 but couldn't find how to do it so I'm doomed to fail most days.

Still, it looks quite nice - and I've done over 2,000 steps since I got it this afternoon. I've discovered that it works in response to arm movement... so you can do it sitting down.... not that I'd do that, of course.

And yes, I'm reading The Other Hand by Chris Cleave. It's pulling me in very fast. Can't stop reading it.

And I'm still writing. Rewriting. Have reached chapter 12 in Talking, can you hear me? I'm putting Esme's voice in the first person and it changes not only the feel of the story, it changes the content. It changes 'what' she says. It's interesting.

How are you getting on, my friends? Are you doing more words than steps? Or more steps than words? Just imagine if we could do 8,000 words a day!

The Chocolate Shop

Here it is - so close to where I live - open all hours and selling chocolate. (By the way, that's not me rushing in, it's somebody else looking for a fix...)

I got my second rejection yesterday - just a form letter - 'not quite right for us'.
'I'm sorry,' Paul said after I'd swallowed hard, put on my couldn't-care-less face and told him.
'It's nothing,' I replied, managing to stretch my lips into a grin. 'I know I have to expect it. I'll get heaps of rejections. Everybody does. Even famous people. Loads of famous people.'

But it wasn't nothing. I managed for about half an hour and then got up and rushed to the shop to buy an Aero bar - not the posh kind of dark chocolate that's good for you - when in need, I go for the dairy milk sort. Very bad for you but sweet and addictive. Hits the spot. Ate it all in less than a couple of minutes.

If only they would send one sentence - just one sentence - to say why. Something like - 'not saleable because of setting' or 'didn't like your opening chapter' or 'too many other stories like this one'. I promise I wouldn't write back - but I'd send them blessings on every air wave.  And if I got several that said the same thing, I'd know what they thought I should I change.

With a form rejection, you more or less know that you haven't got them past the cover letter. But what was wrong? What didn't they like? Or did their dog just die and they couldn't cope with any more queries?

I've followed all the instructions - or I think I have. I've followed them until my letter sounds as though it was written by a robot. That's what I thought when I got to agent number 7 so I changed it into a real letter saying the things you're not supposed to include but at least beginning to sound like myself again. This rejection was from a robot type cover letter.

I wonder how many more chocolate bars I'll have to buy before I get published. And how fat I'll get. Probably won't get through the door by then and I'm quite a respectable medium size at the moment.

Dear friends, I hope your writing is going well and that agents and publishers are lining up outside your door so that you won't need a chocolate shop.